Jakes' message

I have a two month old son. When he wakes up in the morning, he is very happy. When it is his bed time, he gets very fussy. It is a natural thing for any baby to do. To calm him, we wrap him tightly in a blanket and rock him until he begins to fall asleep. I have wished sometimes, at my worst moments, someone could take away my problems by wrapping me snuggly and rocking me to sleep. But as an adult, that doesn’t happen. We are expected to cope with life’s challenges in a dignified manner.
When I received the news that I had cancer, there was nothing adult about my actions or emotions. There was nothing childish about them either. When news like this is given to someone, their whole world screams in emotional pain. That didn’t happen for me. There was pure silence. For months I could hear a pin drop, but one never did. In my world, no one talks about sensitive topics because it is difficult. More than that, no one knows what to say. Those that say things, make it awkward and sometimes inappropriate. Not inappropriate by what they say, but by simply saying something. As the receiver of condolences, when I didn’t accept my situation, I certainly didn’t want to be reminded that I was currently living it. So, for years I ignored it, made up stories about my scars, but overall avoided the topic.
I could only ignore it for so long. Each recurrence of the disease was a harsh reminder of my reality. I have tried to be upbeat about my situation and make the best of life no matter what has happened. I think to my benefit and for those around me, I began to cope by using humor. Laughing is the best way to change a mood. In college me and my roommates used my cancer to meet girls and as an inside joke. When we would get new roommates, they would feel terrible when I got teased for having cancer. However, they quickly realized I would join in the fun. Those stories I made up to explain my scars became a game to tease other people with. And of course I feel a sense of accomplishment when I get people to smile.
I have not made it through life invincible to emotional and physical troubles. I spent several years living unaware of my depression. I have more scars than I can see to count. Last year I lost the use of my left shoulder to a destructive tumor and spent an incredible amount of time overly tired and stressed. But I am working through my new challenges. I have life goals that I need to adapt to my changing situations. The more my cancer comes back, the more I have to alter my plans. But I will not give up. I have no reason to. In spite of all I have been through and how I have reacted; God still sees fit to bless me with amazing things. I have a chosen career path, the intent to do certain things in life, and a need to see my son grow up and achieve great things. Life is fun. I love it; all of it. I am just like my son when he wakes in the morning, very happy just to exist. Some things I could do without, but if I lost those things I wouldn’t have anything to joke about.